The past few weeks have been rough where we live. A few hours away, a little girl was killed. Then, this past week, a baby girl just three months younger than P was killed in the same neighborhood your grandparents live in. With all of these terrible things happening, I am reminded just how special you both are.
Life as a parent is rough. There are many times when I am exhausted. I just want time to myself. There are so many things I feel that I need to get accomplished and the day seems short of hours. By the time the evening arrives, my temper is running short and I want to rush through our nightly routine. I want to read a short book instead of a full story. I don't feel like arguing about dinner consumption or baths. At the end of the day, I don't want to snuggle, I just want my time alone. I want to be able to sleep in. I want to do things on my schedule. I wish I could just take a weekend away, but I would miss you too much even for such a short amount of time.
But the past few days have reminded me how truly precious you are. You, my darlings, are the lights of my life. Everything I do is for you. It may not seem like it, but I always have your best interests at heart. I may not always seem like the fairest mom or the best mom, but I'm okay with that. It stings when you call me a mean mommy or say you don't like me. It's okay, though, you are children and to you, a time out or toy being taken away is like the end of the world. I will do whatever I can to ensure that you are provided for in education, material needs, and emotional support. Never doubt how much love I have for you. I will be happy in any sacrifice I make to give you better lives. In the same way, I will discipline you and give you rules and structure. I do this because you are the world to me, but to the world, you are just people. I do not want you to feel that you should be handed everything in life. I want you to know the value of hard work and the importance of building and maintaining relationships. My rules and my discipline are just another form of the love I have for you.
As your mother, I promise to always love you. I may not always view your decisions as the right ones, but I promise to be supportive. I will always put you first in my life. It is hard to effectively communicate just how I feel about you. Every triumph, from your first steps to the first time you wrote your name, makes my heart soar. When you hurt, I hurt. Every tear, every disappointment cuts me to the core. I want nothing more than for you both to have happy and full lives. I hope you always feel that you can come to me with your troubles without fear of judgment. No matter what mistakes you make, my love for you will not diminish.
A and P, you are blessings to me. You bring me so much joy and fulfillment. I never knew how much I could love until you came into my life. From the first moment I knew of your existence, knowing you were growing inside me, you became my first priority. No matter how old you get, even when you are out on your own, you will always be my children. I am forever grateful of the gift of you. So when you feel down, when you experience heartache or doubt, when the world judges you, remember you are loved. I love you with ever fiber of my being. To me, you are special. To me, you are everything good in this world. You give me hope. You inspire me.